You May Know Them As Ladyboys. Respectfully, They’re Kathoey.

They’re not drag queens or trans women. But sometimes they’re both. It’s complicated.

With Thailand being one of our most popular destinations, we’re bound to hear questions, comments, and ‘jokes’ about ‘ladyboys’. But while the word remains bandied about, it becomes offensive when you’re not part of the community. The proper term is kathoey (pronounced cat-hway), and understanding the community and its history is complicated, especially when trying to mingle modern Western social norms with ancient Asian culture. In simplest terms, kathoey are men that have embraced a feminine identity, but even the Western notion of a ‘femboy’ isn’t accurate.

Kathoey go back to Ancient Buddhist Scriptures

Being not only the primary religion but a defining part of Thai culture, it’s worth considering gender from their national faith. According to Buddhist scripture, four genders exist: men, women, ubhatobyanjuanaka, and pandaka. 

The third gender, bhatobyanjuanaka, refers to intersex people with physical characteristics of both genders. In the ancient dialect of Pali, which was used to write the scripture, ‘bhato’ means ‘twofold’ while ‘byanjana’ refers to gender. So it literally means ‘double gendered’. This still boils it all down to body parts, but only in the past decade have we really begun to embrace and understand how nuanced gender can be. 

The other term, pandaka, is more challenging to translate. It focuses more on the lack of virility (a big part of gender identity). Pandaka can refer to any or all of the following: eunuchs, impotence, infertility, submissive males, and gay men in general. Today, the closest thing might be asexual (which, with profuse apologies, is still not an exact definition).

The modern term kathoey was a literal update of bhatobyanjuanaka but it’s now an umbrella term for a range of gender expressions that include effeminate gay men and trans women. But despite attempts to be sensitive by introducing the word, people will still use ‘kathoey’ as an insult. For example, calling a trans woman kathoey can be intended as an insult to imply she’s not really a woman (sound familiar?) Although a kathoey who doesn’t identify as trans may partake in all the surgeries and hormones, trans women do.

“Kathoey” doesn’t translate to English

Now that we’ve seen how ancient Buddhist gender identities evolved into modern Thai, how do you translate it to English? You can’t, but the closest might be  Indigenous “two-spirit” people who are celebrated for embracing the duality of masculine and feminine.

They are not Trans Women

Since Buddhism recognizes the duality of genders in kathoey, there is nothing to transition to or from. Ironically, this embrace of a gender spectrum may explain why Thailand has one of the largest trans communities in the world, despite transgender being a thoroughly Western concept (there’s less stigma around getting your outside to match your inside and conforming to binary expectations).

On the other hand, while kathoey may embody their feminine side with makeup, fashion, and lifestyle, they don’t necessarily partake in gender affirmation surgery.

And finally, there are drag queens. Once upon a time, that simply referred to a man in a dress. But now trans women, biological women, and even trans men partake in the art of drag. Hence why a kathoey can also be a drag queen, but doing drag doesn’t make one kathoey.

Kathoey are spiritually connected

Per Buddhist scripture, cisgender men and women can only communicate with spirits of the same gender. However, kathoey can bridge the spiritual divide between sexes and whatever lies beyond our earthly existence. That’s why many kathoey become mystics, shamans, and spiritual leaders within their communities.

Kathoey today

We’ve studied the history of nonbinary genders worldwide, from Japan to Italy to Tahiti. Heck, even ancient Rome was more concerned with whether you were dom or sub than gay or straight. In every instance, everything was peachy keen until modern Christian values were imposed. Thailand was no exception, which is why many kathoey still struggle (despite Thailand being one of the best places in the world to be non-binary). Consequently, they often turn to sex work to support themselves, which perpetuates the ‘ladyboy’ stigma. 

On a more positive note, you’ll also find kathoey integrated into society at large. They are models, singers, and movie stars. But they are also hair stylists, restaurant servers, and factory workers. Kathoey beauty pageants are just as popular as cisgender female beauty pageants, even in small towns and at local fairs. Since 2015, kathoey have even received constitutional protection from unjust gender discrimination, but they have yet to be recognized officially as a third gender.

They are not a form of entertainment. Well, maybe.

A major highlight of our Thai trips is the cabaret shows, but these are not simply men in dresses. You’ll see comedic clowns in dreadful drag, drag queens, trans women, and highly passable female impersonators who identify as men off-stage. You may also see kathoey (but must never assume their identity). With such a fluid embrace of gender identity in Thailand, it’s simply great to see people living their best lives, out and proud, on and off the stage.

Before we wrap up this post, we want to hit home one major takeaway. If you’re keen to kiki with kathoey, be mindful of the language you use and avoid tossing terms around that degrade and discriminate against the wonderful people of Thailand that continue to bring us back year after year.

Want to experience a Thai cabaret for yourself? Join one of our 3 annual Thailand Gay Tours.